Okay so it's been A LONG ASS time since I've made a post.  Mostly because I have another blog but thats my "ownpersonalinsidemyheadnobodyelsecaseeblog". Things are okay I guess heres a little recap of my month so far.

Dad's drinking has gotten out of hand but it's getting slowly better.  My Mother did something I never thought she'd ever do to me.  I've grown apart from some people and I've grown closer to others.  I went through a period of not really identifying with anyone.  School has been okay, I'm probably failing foods because I don't go for obvious reasons, if you know me.  It's safe to say I hit one of my ulitmate lows this month but things are slowly getting better.

William and I went for awhile without talking for a silly reason which was mostly my fault but now we are talking again which makes me extremely happy.  I think not having him in my life was part of feeling like I didn't identify with anyone anymore.  It was such a shock to see him, he's definitly getting older thats for sure.

Matt and I are doing decent.  I can't wait for him to move back to Dawson.  It's hard being far away from someone you love.

I miss FSJ like crazy and sometimes I wish I would have stayed there because of how it is at home and I miss my friends there but things will get better.  I just wish Shawn would get his ass over here and visit =[  Maybe I'll have to visit him.

I've also lost 15lbs all together this past month so I'm extremely happy about that.

Today was a really good day.  I had slept the night at Drew's place with matt and we woke up at 9am and went to my house.  We lazed around and smoked honey times till he had to leave at about 12pm.  I then waited on the computer a bit for William to come on so I could hang out with him.  He came on, I invited him over and took a shower before he got here.  We played some halo and went to Iron Headz and then came back to my place and I exploited him to some of my nasty health food cooking.  He was nice about it though and ate ALL of it when I didn't even eat what was on my plate.  After we watched "Bug" which is probably one of the most fucked up movies I've seen.  Not to mention the really weird sex scenes and the over use of penis.  All together I had a really good time and it was nice to have some Janine/William time.

Today was okay.  Was late to foods and all I did was watch porn on my iPod with Niel haha!  Shocked a few girls and hockey jocks, was quite funny.  I drank loads of water today to keep me full.  I ate hot chocolate, 2 apple slices, a bite of strawberry and a slice of bread with nutella spread on it.  So all together I ate 400 cal and burned off 222 cal by walking.  I felt alot skinnier this morning but its still not good enough.  I can't wait to get thin, it will be amazing.

I was supposed to go to a party tonight but april hasnt called me yet so whatever.  I don't really care I'll just do homework and read and play on the computer.  I'm just about finished "The Long Road Out of Hell" by Marilyn Manson it is an amazing book.  Fucked up but amazing.

Well School has been fantastic.  Mine and Matt's relationship has been pretty good and I'm feeling better everyday.  I ate 770 calories today and burned off 230 by walking so today's total is 540, so today is pretty good.  Antoine found my pro ana sites on my ipod today though so I'm kinda nervous about that.  I have a science test tomorrow but I'm not really nervous about it.  I think tomorrow will be a liquid diet, only soups and beverages for tomorrow and maybe the next day.